What’s our story?

Chapters - it all started with my parents

Writing my parents’ eulogies showed me how important their stories were and how I had only listened with half an ear to their stories. Now the details were important, and I wished I had them. 

Old age and dementia seemed to suddenly catch up with my parents around the time I was turning 50. I had the privilege of supporting them most days for a couple of years. I watched my parents fade away and lose their ability to communicate. My parents died within three months of each other, taking their stories with them. I wrote two eulogies within a short time. The writing process was completely different for each of them.

I was aware that as their daughter, I had a limited perspective on my parents. I needed to ask people if they had any stories they felt reflected who my parents were. With Dad the answer kept being ‘Your father was not the kind of man who generated stories’. I felt frustrated, what was I going to write. When the fourth person said this, I realised that was Dad’s story. He was a planner, always did the right thing, sought to contribute to the world, was kind and generous but he never sought the limelight.

Wolstenholme family photo in Sydney, 1969

The eulogy writing process for mum was the opposite, everyone had fun stories of Mum. She was creative, colourful, gregarious, social, loved drama and was, at times, a little random. As she was dying, I realised deep in my bones there were questions I had not even known I wanted to ask her.  I still catch myself wanting to ask them something, then realising it is too late. I had lost the last link to my past.

This contrast in process drove home the importance of taking action to capture people’s stories, at at time you can still ask them. I was told and saw the impact my eulogies had on their friends and our family. I knew I had done them proud.

My parents, in their sixties, smiling at camera.

The day after Mum’s funeral, I was wondering what my life would look like now, when the idea for this business popped into my head. It has taken a while, but we have started this business to help people capture their legacy memories so their stories are available to future generations. Not an autobiography nor their whole story, just the parts important to them (the Chapters) and the stories they want to be remembered by.

We considered when memories and written personal stories were the most useful.

As my parents’ dementia got worse, we had made them a book of memories, with lots of their photos. The photos prompted my parents to talk about the stories associated with the photos. Visitors found this really helpful, especially as my parents became less communicative.

It seems so sad, but typically human, that we always think there will be more time to ask. Losing a parent, family member or friend really brings home how much we need to ask our loved ones about their lives.

By sharing your story with us or having us work with your parents or loved ones, your family will always have the family stories they need when they need it.

My dad would say “You can’t put an old head on young shoulders”. I would shrug and think, ‘what do you know?’ Proving his point perfectly!

Check out the Bios below to find out more about us